With all the drama surrounding the Wear Pants to Church Day,
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a woman in the church. To be
honest, it’s something I’ve thought about a lot in the last few years.
I want to preface this with the fact that I absolutely have
a testimony that the LDS church is God’s
church. I believe that President Monson in our prophet today, and he leads
God’s church. I believe the Book of Mormon is scripture from God, and that it
can bring us closer to our Savior. I believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet
and he restored the church for the last time on the earth.
However, I do feel that there are gender inequalities in the
church. I know that God loves his daughters just as much as his sons, and I
don’t know why women don’t have the Priesthood. That’s not really the issue for
me. I do feel like there are cultural, not doctrinal, gender issues. And I
think it’s painful. Especially as the mother of three daughters, one on which
already is asking me questions about the visibility of women in the church.
There are already so many women who have written about where
gender inequality is found in the church, so I’m not going to delve into that
right now. If you are curious, check out these links:
The real reason I am writing this post is because I am
horrified by some of what was written on the Facebook Page. Horrified. And
embarrassed. Some of my fellow Mormons are declaring that women who have
questions about gender in the church are apostate, that they should leave the
church, or even that they are going to hell.
I was in serious turmoil. Am I really apostate? Am I really
unfaithful if I have questiona about women and their role in the church? So,
I’ve been praying a lot about this, and I’ve been searching for answers.
And as it turns out, there are a lot of women in the
scriptures and in our LDS history where women have had questions, and they haven’t
been struck by lightening for it either.
Lets look at the daughters of Zelophehad (see Numbers 36).
Moses was dividing up inheritances to the various tribes of Israel, and setting
up the system where land was passed down from father to son. However, Zelophehad had no sons, he had five
daughters. These women went to Moses, the
prophet, with their problems. They felt that they should inherit their
father’s land, even though they were not men. Did Moses call down the fires of
heaven to consume these unfaithful daughters? No, he did not. He took their
question to the Lord. And the Lord responded and told Moses that these women
could inherit their father’s land. Now, does it mean that Moses wasn’t the
prophet because he didn’t automatically receive revelation on this matter? Of
course not. Revelation is often received by asking questions. Women inheriting
their father’s land was not on Moses’ radar for whatever reason. As far as we
know, it wasn’t a question that he had thought to ask. I also find it interesting to note that these
women were looking for a gift, a blessing, and they only got it because they were willing to ask.
How about Ruth? She took some initiative in getting Boaz the
marry her, and wasn’t declared an apostate. Or Ester. She risked her life by
going to King to save her people. These women were not women who sat idly by
when they felt they needed something.
Let’s look to our own history of the Relief Society. Sarah
Granger Kimball and Margaret Book wanted to put together a Benevolent Society
to help make clothing for temple workers. They had Eliza R. Snow write a
constitution and by laws which they then took to Joseph Smith. Yes, that’s
right. It was not the other way around. Joseph Smith did not go to the women of
the church and tell them that he was going to create a society just for them.
The women went to him first! And they obviously were not declared apostates.
And once again, just because Joseph Smith didn’t present the idea first does
not mean he was not lead by inspiration. He took the question of a women’s
society to the Lord, and thus the Relief Society was formed. The blessing was
there- but they had to ask for it.
I am deeply saddened that all this pants craziness has
happened. The original intent of the Mormon feminists who created it was to
show solidarity with other people in the church who sometimes feel
marginalized- women who go against the cultural norms and wear pants to church,
or single mothers, or divorcees, or gays oranyone else who is made to fell less
than sometimes. Unfortunately this
happens in the church. I’ve seen it happen. I saw a woman get reamed at church
for wearing pants- a convert. And she never came back. That is not okay. That
is not how Christ would act.
Some commenters are upset because they feel that Mormon feminists
are trying to be men. But that is not true. Mormon feminists have a wide
spectrum of feelings and beliefs, and not one of us wants to be a man. To call
us man haters, or prideful, or looking to lift ourselves up is also simply not
true. To say that we are not following the prophet or that we are apostate is
not true either. Yes, we have questions we would like answered. But that’s ok.
We are allowed to have questions. Whether they will be answered any time in the
future, I don’t know.
However, there are ways that we can make women more equal
with men, and it doesn’t have to change our doctrine. I’ve shared this link on
Facebook before, but for those of you who haven’t see it, check this out:
So, is it really just about pants? Not really.
